My pity party

I've been reading some other people's blogs--if these goddamned idiots can have their little pity parties, I can have one, too.

I guess maybe the mood I'm in could be one reason that I'm not feeling charitable towards others. But I do want to say one thing--hurts don't heal overnight. Hurts don't heal in a month. But hurts are NEVER going to heal if the person that's hurting isn't ready to let go. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and move the fuck on.

Now as for me...I'm going to indulge in a little of my own self-pity. Why is it that no matter how incredibly hard I try, I'm not ever good enough? I had another bad practice today and now I'm depressed. Oddly enough, I remember a time when cheerleading practice was fun--yet now I feel like crying just about every night. And if I don't want to cry about how terrible (yes, TERRIBLE) I am, I'm so frustrated and so angry. Why the hell can't I just get it right? Why do I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle? I don't even want to fight the battle anymore and that's probably why I'm losing.

Our season hasn't properly started (game 1 is tomorrow) and I already feel like I usually would at the end of the season. I'm not motivated, I'm not enthusiastic...I feel like I'm putting in 100% and getting back nothing.

Ok, now that I've gotten that out...it's DONE. No more bullshit...I either need to suck it up, or shut it up. The next thing I write in this blog about cheerleading is going to be positive, or it won't be written, dammit.