...according to Jaime...

I know everything--or nothing--depending on the day. I know that the world is full of beautiful colors, beautiful words, and beautiful things. I don't know what my part in it is. Well, I don't know...yet.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Insanity...

I don't know why I picked that title. I just feel a little insane now. I finished Justin's paper, so he can do with it what he will. It's scrapbook time pretty soon. Cody just walked by the computer lab...he is really sexy.

I'm feeling disoriented. Earlier I was reflecting on my life and I realized that I am so much stronger than I ever realized. I've pulled through my first semester on my own and I'm ok. All of the bullshit (both personal and school-related) is over. I refuse to continue to destroy myself over things I can't change. So what I didn't get an A in English. So what I'm a walking insecurity. So what I'm not "ok." These are things that it's much too late to change, so I may as well accept them and move forward. It's over. I made it through and I'm stronger for it.

I read the council blog today. Francesca is back in a tailspin because Jay doesn't want to be her friend any more. I think it is about time for me to leave the council alone. I've never met most of the people that post there, and well, it's depressing. I'm sorry my cousin's wonderful vision didn't come to fruition, but I really don't think I was ever part of that particular vision anyway.

I guess there is really no point in this post, I just felt like saying something. There's actually a lot that I would love to just pour out, but I'm afraid. What would people think?


2 Comments:

Blogger Deadpool said...

Fear is alway the hardest to conquer, and forget about controlling it, I haven't even learned that trick yet. If you ever want to talk about anything, just call me, or leave me a meesage to call you or drop by. please leave a time, and a nice sized window with that because I am not as studious as I should be when checking my answering machine.

As an aside, either you or Chanda should go after this Justin(4ver after to called JC.) If you guys want to get with JC so bad, just go for it before some skank comes along and takes him away, and we both know that this skank would not be as worthy as either you nor Chanda.

1:45 PM  
Blogger Jaime said...

I am going to conquer it, dammit. LOL...well, maybe not, but I'm going to try. I've always wanted to be fearless...but now that I think about it, maybe I should try to be doubtless instead. I mean, I'll always be afraid, but I don't want to constantly doubt myself. Just food for thought...

5:23 PM  

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