...according to Jaime...

I know everything--or nothing--depending on the day. I know that the world is full of beautiful colors, beautiful words, and beautiful things. I don't know what my part in it is. Well, I don't know...yet.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Do secrets exist?

I was just talking to Rob on MSN and I told him I was reading blogs when he said that he has one. I told him I addicted to it and he asked to see mine...I declined because I get the feeling that if he read it once, he'd read it a lot and I'm just not ready for him to know that much about me. I certainly can't censor myself even more than I already do (because Chanda and Deadpool sometimes wander over) because this is my therapy. He made a remark about how he could understand me wanting to get things out in writing or with someone I really trusted. I told him that trust was overrated and that some things are just better kept to yourself.

But then I got to thinking...is there anything about me that someone else doesn't know? I don't think there is one single thing. Even if I've only shared something with one person (and even if s/he is trustworthy enough to keep it to her/himself), s/he still knows. I'm struggling to come up with one thing, just one, that I know about myself that isn't known to anyone else. My worst fear, my darkest secret, my secret shame, my biggest insecurity--all of it is known by someone. I can't think of anything...why is this? Am I the only person out there with this problem?

I don't know...it was just an odd thing that occurred to me. I will keep thinking, but I doubt I'll come up with something. It's disturbing.

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