I think I'm a Cancer...

...not like cancer...not like a disease. I mean a Cancer like the Zodiac sign. According to Richanda, Cancers are sensitive, giving, and kind. I've become all those things recently. Also according to Richanda, I'm not allowed to jump two Zodiac signs (Taurus and Gemini) and I'm behaving like a typical Aries (melodramatic, violent, and stubborn). I guess there could be a little truth to that. But I still think I'm a Cancer, and if anyone doesn't agree...I'll strangle them. Well, not exactly, LOL.

In other news...I'm having real maturity issues. I've stopped dating Ishmael, but haven't found the courage to call him and officially end whatever relationship we may have had. I kinda want to just send him a text message, but everyone seems to think that would be "wrong." Ordinarily, I'd agree...but I mean, it's not like we dated for three years. We had two official dates. Two. I think a text message is more than fair. Which is one reason I'm having maturity issues.

The other reason is that I decided Asshole is my boyfriend. He didn't disagree...but I wonder if he agrees. I think so, but I'm not sure. I'm also really insecure about the whole situation...and that insecurity is like a cancer. It's spreading throughout my whole life and slowly devouring me from the inside. I keep telling myself that I'm being ridiculous. I'm also not being true to myself...which I'm only just realizing as I type. Lately I've been letting other people's opinions influence my way of thinking. And everyone else is negative--he's too old, too "unestablished," too the wrong color, too wrong for me. But before I started listening to other motherfuckers, I never had a problem with any of that. I've come up with my own "problem" with our relationship though...and that's what I need to focus on (the parental thing, LOL)--being mature enough to get over that...and saying screw everyone else.