I'm back...

...and better than ever. Actually, that's not quite true. I'm just as mentally screwed up now as I ever was before, just for different reasons.

In the last few weeks life has actually been pretty good. I had a wonderful time in Colorado--the mountains are absolutely beautiful. I met a lot of new people and just generally concentrated on having fun, which is something I don't do often. I tend to add more stress to my life than is already present, and since there's plenty of real stress already...I end up completely stressed out.

It's also official--I'm going to be an RA (resident assistant) next year. I'm so blessed, so lucky, and so thankful. Because of this wonderful opportunity, I'll have my entire education paid for (if I continue to be an RA every year, which I can't think why I wouldn't be). The weekend after I found out was just awesome. I shopped on Friday, which is nice because I never get to shop. I got to hang out with my cousin Vince, who I don't see enough of. We did lose the SLIAC Tournament Championship on Saturday--to WEBSTER of all teams. That was a low moment, but at least cheerleading is over now. We went to a frat party on Saturday night (Alpha's are so hott) and I even met a nice young man named Jeffrey, but I'm almost positive nothing will come of it. It was just nice to think that someone out there would possibly be interested in me.

Sunday was the start of more bad feelings for me. I talked to Mandy and found out that she's been having some difficulties. Her mom moved to Louisiana to "take care of" the boy they kind-of-adopted into their family. That'd be fine except she left Mandy alone in Iowa. She's barely on speaking terms with her father, and to top it off the boy (his name is Matt) was mentally and physically abusive to her. I hate it...it's a sick situation. I plan to go visit her when I go home for Easter. Immediately after getting off the phone with Mandy, I called my mom. Dunno why really. I guess I was thinking that maybe if she had time she could check on Mandy for me. She wasn't home. This is when I really fucked up.

I was really, really upset after talking to Mandy, and since I couldn't talk to my mom, I called the one person that I should never, EVER, call. Within 10 minutes I had agreed to go hang out and to be perfectly honest that just depressed the hell out of me. I think I have some serious mental issues that I need to iron out before I continue on the path I'm currently on. Yeah...this is kinda cryptic, but I want it to be, LOL. When I got back to school this morning I was in a really down mood and my back hurt like a mofo. I ended up skipping one class and calling in to work. I should be doing homework now, but I don't feel like it. I'll get around to it eventually. LOL.

One more thing before I go...what is it about Jay Winkleman? I've never met the guy, and honestly (no offense if for some off the wall reason you should see this, Jay), I don't want to. But through reading Quill's blog, I happened to stumble onto his girlfriend's blog. It's like every woman this mf comes into contact with can only think, speak, and function in relation to him. I really do not get it. He just doesn't seem worth all of that. No guy does. Which is one reason why I'm so pissed at myself for my current line of thoughts. At any rate, I'll be damned if I ever act that way. And if by some chance I do, I hope someone shoots me.