My Epiphany and Why I'll Be Off the Radar for A Minute

Today I was in my Greek Tragedy class and my mind was wandering (not because it was boring, but because I'm having a difficult week). During this time, I had an epiphany.

In these last few months since starting college, I've been trying so hard to "find" myself that I've lost the self that I once was. It's sad. Although I wasn't perfect, I was me. This realization that I haven't been being "me" was brought home to me by something my mother said to me on the phone the other day. I was telling her that I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings by taking a specific action and she told me that for my whole life I've been a little on the selfish side, and that now when I need to be taking care of myself most, I'm suddenly putting everyone else ahead of me. She's sort of right. Obviously being selfish isn't the way to be, but neither is being so self-less that I've lost myself.

I realized today that I'm confused. On one hand, I know that I'm supposed to be growing and changing and I am, but I don't want to lose myself entirely. I know...I'm probably not making a great deal of sense just now. My point is...I need some time to re-evaluate where I'm headed and what kind of person I am and what kind of person I want to be.

As part of this "re-evaluation" I will not be blogging for the next two and a half weeks. I know, blogging seems like something trivial, but I just want to let this blog sit for awhile and see if when I come back to it anything has changed (I also will not be reading any blogs and will generally not be online except to check my Maryville E-mail [only because I need to be updated on extra-curricular stuff]). So, ta-ta until February 27th.