Brrr! It's cold out here...

Ah, damn cold weather. It was 11 degrees when I took Josh to work this morning. I know that it can, and will, get a lot colder, but it still sucks. Florida is looking really good, suddenly. Speaking of out of state, I told him that we can't possibly have kids because he's stuck in Missouri until his kid gets older and if I want to up and change jobs in a new city, I'm going to--and I'm taking my baby with me (this is my hypothetical baby, of course).

We also talked about his mother's acceptance, or lack of it, for a child of ours. I know that when you are with someone, it shouldn't matter how their family feels, but thinking of the hurtful things that have happened to some of my nieces and nephews, I don't know if I could deal with someone hurting my child that way. He said he thinks Naomi would just be the favorite, but that's intolerable to me. Especially because something tells me that she'd be his favorite, too. I don't know...none of this really matters right now, and I need to just get over it and put it out of my mind.

I do know that I miss being 'home.' This summer I got really used to our brand of domesticity. I'm back to not wanting to be an RA. Mostly just because this week (finals week) everyone has been wanting my time and attention and I just want to study and be a hermit. It's much easier to be a hermit when I'm with Josh, at home. I just keep thinking about all the responsibilities I have at school that I don't want. I really would like to be like other people--go to class, maybe go to work, and let that be it. Instead, I'm an RA, I'm in every club known to man. I did quit the danceteam though, so that's one less thing on my plate. I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I wished I knew what would be best for me down the road so that I could make an intelligent and informed decision. Instead I have a feeling that no matter what I do, I 'll regret it at some point in the future. But then, what's life without a few regrets? Pretty boring, that's what. LOL.