Back in Action

I got back yesterday at like 2 p.m. Oddly enough I was at Maryville for maybe an hour and a half before I had to get the fuck out. Well, actually, I didn't have to. I wasn't going stir crazy yet; I hadn't (shit...who am I kidding? I still haven't done it yet) even finished unpacking and stuff. So I left. And I'm just getting back. Yes I know that it's been almost 22 hours. I also know that my mom called me repeatedly wondering why I wasn't in my room. But what I know most is that for once it was very, very nice to just disappear for awhile. Nobody to knowing where I am, and then being pissed because I'm there; no one being upset if I don't come back right away. It was just nice.

On a not so nice note, I haven't run into Rob, yet. But then...I haven't been on campus long enough to give him a good chance, LOL. I think I'm just going to tell him that I have a lot of stuff to do and I don't want to be bothered. Actually, I know that's what I'm going to tell him, and it probably won't come out that nice. I'll update on how that goes later.

Today I was supposed to stop eating junk food, but I went to McDonald's. There's always tomorrow, I guess. Anyway, I need to get a move on--I have errands to run and clothes to put away and a shower with my name on it. Oh and I have to call Chanda, too.

One more thing. I've been thinking about how insecure I can be at times...and how I'm not very good at hiding it. I don't like that. I mean, I'm not going to make all the worries I have about myself (and not just my looks) go away in one day, but shouldn't I at least be able to keep it under wraps? And also, why is it that once I seem to get rid of one set of insecurity, another sets in? This is the second time (and third set) that I've felt the need to overcome something since August. Actually, though...it's come full circle. I had insecurities from high school, got over them and developed them from something that happened to me while at Maryville. Now I'm over that and back to worrying about the same old shit I agonized over in high school. The shallow part is that a big part of what bothers me is how I look. I'm not going to go into the reasons behind that...I'm just going to say that I'm tired of being insecure and I'm ready to let it go and just do my thing and have fun.